Wednesday, August 18, 2010
“I was enjoying the last puff of the cigarette standing out at my balcony dear !!! The Last puff of cigarette & The first kiss of Girlfriend are always enjoyable. I’ve heard this one from one of my classmate in college. I was thinking about that. I was laughing, neither first kiss nor the last puff are enjoyable at all. Still I remember my first kiss...”
It was 8th September when I decided to quit smoking. After that I didn't smoke a single cigarette. And today it's 18th. Just before half an hour, (It was 1.30 am then. The usual time when u call me) I have decided to make a cigarette. Actually You were sleeping with your boy friend then And I was waiting for u lying lonely on my bed. I couldn't take it anymore dear. This gonna be another sleepless night for me. So I decided to have a cigarette. I didn’t have any cigarettes. But there were some burnt cigarettes in my ash-tray. Those last parts of cigarettes contain some tobaccos. And I made one with those tobaccos. I used to make cigarette in this way at hostel in case of emergencies.
Last night I asked you, "How to improve my communication skills?”.... And you were laughing. Everybody laughed at me since my childhood.
Oh! I forgot to disclose my identity. This time I (The Brazilian model - as described by Sambit, Owner of the blog) am writing the blog. He has given his login Id to me only for tonight.
I thought I won't call u, not even a single SMS though I’ve sent one good night SMS. Check it out at tomorrow morning. I think you are snoring now. You know what, I still remember the day when u were crying because of that pervert baba….. I am not blackmailing you dear.
Basically this is the place where I can write everything. Earlier I used to write diaries, make paintings etc. But I’ve lost everything after taking admission in the engineering college. I don't know what I miss most in my life now. But the one I miss always is you, SOUMIKA. I can't express anything. That's my problem dear…
I am thirsty now. I wish I could drink one chilled beer can. (OM, don laugh. I know tomorrow morning u'll ask sambit about the blog and he would smile as usual without saying anything). I'm going to shift at Bhiwadi. I'll share everything with u if time persists. You want a book, Na? Okk, I'll tell Sambit to publish "THUMKI" as early as possible. Wait, let me drink some water now. Don't laugh my dear friend. I don't drink now.
I really don’t know what I’m doing. I can recall each and everything now. I can remember those days when I used to drink in Olypub almost daily. I want to get back in to my life. I forgot to smile. I forgot to cry. I forgot to work in my workplace. I forgot to have a social life. I forgot everything. I forgot all the social responsibilities. What I want actually? Did I really ever think about it? Did I really want anything from someone?
I think after publishing this blog I’ll lose her. She thinks I’m blackmailing her. But I failed to say her, "I'll be happy with you only, sonai !!!"
I've chosen a different path for my entire life. I know, in this path I’ll kill Sambit (Inner consciousness of a spotless mind). But I need to proof myself, "How worth I am". It doesn't matter whether I’ll become speechless then. I need to proof this one to Sambit.
Somdeep was a very nice guy. He was innocent. But Sambit killed him a long back. Now this is the time to kill Sambit. This is the time to show everybody, “How worth The Brazilian Model is”.
** Now I understood that u can really make your luck. U don't need to depend on your luck. It's u who will play around with your luck.
---- New readers, please read previous blogs first. Sambit is publishing my real life story. Read previous blogs to understand everything.
