New Element in the Periodic Table (MENS DISCOVERY)

Saturday, January 21, 2006

I believe u haven't yet forgotten the Periodic Table in chemistry........Recently a new element has been added into that......The following are it's details ...

Element :WOMEN
Symbol : WO+
Atomic mass : Accepted as 53.6 Kg; isotopes may vary from 40-200 kg.
Occurrence : Copious quantities in all urban areas.
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
>1. Boils at room temperature
>2. Freezes without any known reason.
>3. Melts if given special treatment.
>4. Bitter, if incorrectly used.
>5. Sweet as Honey if given a proper treatment.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
>1. Have great affinity for Gold, Silver and a range of precious stones and absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
>2. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
>3. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.
COMMON USES
>1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
>2. Can be great aid to relaxation.
TESTS
>1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when happy.
>2. Turns green when placed behind a better specimen.
POTENTIAL HAZARD
Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come in direct contact with each other.
!! WARNING !!
PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE FINANCIAL HEMORRHAGING AND MENTAL DISTRESS. BE CAUTIOUS ABOVE PROPERTIES ARE SHOWN BY ALL THE WOMEN OF THE WORLD ...

THE ART OF MAKING A HIT HINDI FILM- Success Guaranteed

Friday, January 06, 2006

1.Star Power

Your hero must be Amitabh Bachchan, Shahrukh Khan, Aamir Khan, a terrific dancer or an oooh-drawer. The last asset your actor needs is acting talent. Look at Fardeen, Shahid, and Hritik. If you cannot afford Shahrukh Khan, you should atleast have his picture hanging on the wall.

If your heroine is not Rani or Preity, she must show plenty of skin. Skin obviously excludes skin of the face, arms, feet, and other things men can do without. It'd be easy on your producer if she can do the customary item number and sizzling scene without demanding a body-double. Rate all available heroines on the Droolability Scale and make the topper your automatic choice.

2.Music

AR Rahman is too busy.
Anu Malik should be your next choice. He copies good songs.

If it's a Shahrukh Khan film: A Sudanese folk song will suffice. Once you have one catchy song, you can fill your tapes with Jatin-Lalit's balderdash.If you do not want to plagiarize, you can have a muted song with Shahrukh Khan putting on and removing his Raybans 5 times in a minute or running his fingers passionately through his hair, throwing his head back, and looking beseechingly at the sky.

Finally, you can use Juggy D and his band of rappers who blabber some indistinguishable gibberish. They succeed in making an ultra-small piece of attractive music (ranging from a few microseconds to three seconds) and then replay it for the entire length of the song.

3.Script

Your story should be built around scenes and not vice versa. Get Paresh Rawal to speak a couple of witty lines in a Marwari or Gujarati accent. If he's too busy, Johnny Lever is always available for his meaningless tantrums.

If you want to make a youthful film about college romance, don't work overtime trying to make your protagonists look young.

Get a couple of overaged, long-haired, goggle-donning, gum-chewing brawny jerks; a few mini-skirt clad culture-conscious girls who wear a "Come on, take me on" and "Mein ek Hindustani ladki hoon" facade at the same time; a bespectacled curly-haired, gullible nerd; and some hassled and really dumb teachers. When your heroine or hero walk in a group, make sure their dress is brighter, they walk in the centre of the group, and the cronies laugh at anything they say.

You must have either an arm-wrestling duel (with the hero as underdog, of course) or a bike race (with the hero triumphing inspite of the villain's sidekicks' efforts to scupper his race) or an audacious challenge which basically ensures that the next scene is in Kashmir with the lead pair singing songs of love and commitment (O mere yaar, mujhe hai tumse pyaar, jaane bahaar, tere bina jeevan mein hai andhkaar... and all that blah).

Again, keep in mind that it is individual scenes and not the net product that determines a film's longevity.

If it's a Shahrukh Khan film: Anything from the Recycle Bin will do. I'm sure you've heard the adage 'Originality and Speed Kill'.In SRK's films, a script is, after all, (nonde)script.

Intersperse the regular bullshit with some tears, an attempted rape, abusive language, and some hysterical dialogues.This is indispensable. Your hero must deliver a 10-minute performance, near the climax, of insanity or plain hysteria bellowing some powerful statements against the system or the society.(Yaar!acting kya fodu thi! (Man! what a spectacular performance))

30 movies you must watch, before you reach 30

1. Being John Malkovich
2. Jaane Bhi Do Yaaro
3. Pather Panchali
4. Ferris Bueller's Day Off
5. Anjali
6. Love Actually
7. Memoirs of a Geisha
8. Life is Beautiful
9. Lakshya
10. Pretty Woman
11. The Godfather
12. American Pie
13. The Matrix
14. Good Will Hunting
15. The Shawshank Redemption
16. Run Lola Run
17. Girl with a Pearl Earring
18. Maine Pyar Kiya
19. Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
20. The Full Monty
21. Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge
22. Forrest Gump
23. The Terminator
24. Edward Scissorhands
25. Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikandar
26. Catch Me If You Can
27. Bridget Jones's Diary
28. Bend It Like Beckham
29. Back To The Future
30. 2001: A Space Odyssey

Life is like that ...

Through the window of my room....

What do you see?
[ Update : none saw what i saw.. quite weird!!]

A BORING CLASS

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Today 3rd hour i had Powder Metallurgy class.That subject is taught by M.A. Joseph, Asst. Professor, NITC.His lecture is very boring.Student's want to sleep in his class.They are reading newspaper in the class.Very few students (TATU,PMT,IYPE,HILLAR etc.) are taking notes in his class.Today's lecture was the best one (a.k.a Sabse Jada ghinao).

Today i found some work in his class.Today he told "we can see/say that" 40 times during his lecture.I was counting that.last class it was 50 (according to sharma's counting).I think i should draw a graph on this.. Then may be i can find some interest ...