The naked truth of Life !!!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Life!!! What is it actually? It’s a simple four letter word. But is there anyone who has faced it? Did anyone understand the meaning of life, I should say, “The naked truth of life”.

For the couple of days I was searching the naked truth about life. I didn’t have any ideas. Just before couple of hours I was roaming around in the garden. Suddenly I remembered about one boy whom I have seen one week before. Tonight ‘m gonna tell his story. I don’t know the end of the story. But I can guess what’s going to happen in his life. That’s what we call it “LIFE” …

I have seen him on 1^st October’ 2010 working at vendor end. I forgot his name. Let give him a name, “RUPAK”.

At that day I had to visit some vendors for some work. I had to calculate the actual burning wire consumption per battery. I was randomly collecting those data. Suddenly I found out one boy doing welding in one boxing table. He was in his teen. I went to him. He was working with more than 100% work efficiency. I was watching him only. After collecting some data I started talking with him. And I was shocked. Now I’m telling his story.

Rupak is the best worker of that vendor. He can produce almost 400 batteries in 8 hrs. He is having excellent working speed with accuracy. He is working daily for 16 hrs. Only for 10,000 bucks per month. Rupak is 18 yr old only. He is having one elder brother and one sister. They don’t have any farm-land. His father is working on some other’s farm. Rupak left his studies and working for 16 hrs daily in Haryana so that their family can eat something. Rupak’s sister is studying in 8^th standard and his elder brother is doing his B.Arts (2^nd year). Rupak is the only earning member of his family. That kid is working for his family by poisoning himself on daily basis. He proudly told me, “Sir, last month daily 8 hrs. Overtime kiya tha. 11,000 mila tha. Aur 10,000 pura ghar bhej diya”.  I have seen a grin on his face at that time. I wish he could smile always.

Rupak doesn’t know what work he is doing actually. He is consuming lead on daily basis. I scolded him for not using nose-mask during welding. I told him to have milk and bananas daily. It’ll help to reduce lead amount in his blood. But I was feeling bad for him.

He doesn’t know what’ll happen in future. He can’t work longer. He won’t get any success. Today he is doing overtime for his elder brother. And that bugger would surely get success in his life. But would he remember his lil brother at that time? I have doubt. He won’t remember Rupak at that time. I wish I’m wrong.

            This is the naked truth of life….  “Don’t do anything for your beloved one, they would forget you”

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Walking down to my memory lane, I was trying to recall some of my best moments I’ve ever had in my life. There are lots of sweet moments with my frndz, couple of worst nightmares and some wishes … But there are some moments which I already have spent with you. We were always roaming places together --- Citimart, Bhojohori Manna, Thonthonia kalibari, Ahiritola Launch ghat, Olypub, Rangmahal, Capri, Siddheswari temple, Spicy Pangash Mach etc. Last but not the least the first day meet and your dance on the following day, shopping together for my family. And of course our birthday celebration. I can’t walk a single step without you. I was just thinking about my sweet/worst moments. My eyes were closed. I was trying to figure out something. But it was you, always in my heart. How can I forget the evening when we were returning to your hostel sitting together in a hand pulled rickshaw? Or when we were returning home together in the train (We were assuming that we were returning home after a long days after our marriage).












The best moments I’ve ever had in my life, is with you. And I can’t help myself to note down some of my best & worst moments I’ve ever had with you.






















Best moment I’ve ever had with you: When you were entering into the launch by holding my hand along with your dad.










Worst Nightmare: When you were going to commit suicide / Whenever you cry.










I Wish … Our daughter would drive one black Mercedes and we would recall our sweet memories sitting at the back.






















And I don’t need Shyambazar 5 point crossing to say, “I Love You” by sitting on my knees !!! I can easily close my eyes and by thinking of you I can proudly say, “I Love You, SONAI”

Just had the last puff

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

            “I was enjoying the last puff of the cigarette standing out at my balcony dear !!! The Last puff of cigarette & The first kiss of Girlfriend are always enjoyable. I’ve heard this one from one of my classmate in college. I was thinking about that.  I was laughing, neither first kiss nor the last puff are enjoyable at all. Still I remember my first kiss...”

            It was 8th September when I decided to quit smoking. After that I didn't smoke a single cigarette. And today it's 18th. Just before half an hour, (It was 1.30 am then. The usual time when u call me) I have decided to make a cigarette. Actually You were sleeping with your boy friend then  And I was waiting for u lying lonely on my bed. I couldn't take it anymore dear. This gonna be another sleepless night for me. So I decided to have a cigarette. I didn’t have any cigarettes. But there were some burnt cigarettes in my ash-tray. Those last parts of cigarettes contain some tobaccos. And I made one with those tobaccos. I used to make cigarette in this way at hostel in case of emergencies.

            Last night I asked you, "How to improve my communication skills?”.... And you were laughing. Everybody laughed at me since my childhood. 

            Oh! I forgot to disclose my identity. This time I (The Brazilian model - as described by Sambit, Owner of the blog) am writing the blog. He has given his login Id to me only for tonight.

            I thought I won't call u, not even a single SMS though I’ve sent one good night SMS. Check it out at tomorrow morning. I think you are snoring now. You know what, I still remember the day when u were crying because of that pervert baba….. I am not blackmailing you dear.

            Basically this is the place where I can write everything. Earlier I used to write diaries, make paintings etc. But I’ve lost everything after taking admission in the engineering college. I don't know what I miss most in my life now. But the one I miss always is you, SOUMIKA. I can't express anything. That's my problem dear…

            I am thirsty now. I wish I could drink one chilled beer can. (OM, don laugh. I know tomorrow morning u'll ask sambit about the blog and he would smile as usual without saying anything). I'm going to shift at Bhiwadi. I'll share everything with u if time persists. You want a book, Na? Okk, I'll tell Sambit to publish "THUMKI" as early as possible. Wait, let me drink some water now. Don't laugh my dear friend. I don't drink now.

            I really don’t know what I’m doing. I can recall each and everything now. I can remember those days when I used to drink in Olypub almost daily. I want to get back in to my life. I forgot to smile. I forgot to cry. I forgot to work in my workplace. I forgot to have a social life. I forgot everything. I forgot all the social responsibilities. What I want actually? Did I really ever think about it? Did I really want anything from someone? 

            I think after publishing this blog I’ll lose her. She thinks I’m blackmailing her. But I failed to say her, "I'll be happy with you only, sonai !!!"

            I've chosen a different path for my entire life. I know, in this path I’ll kill Sambit (Inner consciousness of a spotless mind). But I need to proof myself, "How worth I am". It doesn't matter whether I’ll become speechless then. I need to proof this one to Sambit. 

            Somdeep was a very nice guy. He was innocent. But Sambit killed him a long back. Now this is the time to kill Sambit. This is the time to show everybody, “How worth The Brazilian Model is”.

** Now I understood that u can really make your luck. U don't need to depend on your luck. It's u who will  play around with your luck.

---- New readers, please read previous blogs first. Sambit is publishing my real life story. Read previous blogs to understand everything.

R Parchina

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Parchina ami r parchina emon kore
nistobdho hoye thakte, tabu tomaye
kemon kore disturb kori?
hoito tumi ekhon swapno dekhcho
tomar natun boyfriend-ke niye
ba hoito bascho bhalo taake
nijeer kore...kemon kore
ami sudhu nijer jonyo
tomaye kosto diyi?
kintu parchi na
biswas koro
parchina
emon
kore
banchte...

Kaustav is lucky !!!

Saturday, July 31, 2010

It’s 2.00 a.m. He didn’t sleep yet. I’ve asked him, “Why u r not sleeping?” He replied, “I’m dying without her. I can’t live without her. Today she called me and talked only for one and half minutes.”

He started crying then. He was telling, “Kaustav is lucky. He can share each and everything with her. At least she is guiding him. I can’t … I don’t have anyone to share everything. I’m getting mad. I’m not responsible. I didn’t force her for staying with me. She doesn’t love me.”

He was crying like a child. Just like, he had lost his favourite toy. But he has lost his soul mate.

He stared talking again, “I’m waiting for her call in every night. I’ve started doing work in factory now. But all the time I’m only thinking of her. I’ve lost again. I’m always thinking about her. But she has hanging herself into someone else’s words.”

I wanted to say something. I told, “Don’t spoil yourself bro. U’ll get better one. She can’t understand you. Forget her. Come back to your life.”

“I don’t need better one. I just need her. She needs some guidance yaar. Otherwise she’ll be lost someday. This world is so wild. She can’t take it for longer. And stop thinking about me. Pray for her only … “

            That was today’s conversation with Sam. I don’t know kaustav. And I don’t know why he is lucky. I can’t resist myself posting this one. Sorry dost !!!

He'll make the Cover Page !!!

Sunday, July 25, 2010

I was watching a Hindi movie, "Mr. Singh Mrs. Mehta"... It was a Sunday afternoon. I was totally relaxing. I was roaming around in my balcony after watching the movie. Suddenly i heard my phone's ringing. I was wondering who is it? I came into my room.
"Brazilian Model calling ........ "
I told myself, "Bahenchod, Sunday evening kharap karega .... Sala Chutia."
I picked it up. Before saying anything, he told me "Tera mann mein jo aaye, likh sakta hai mere bare mein. Par Cover Page main design karunga"
I was shocked. I didn't expect this one from him. I kept silent for a while. Then after a few minutes i started talking with him.
"What happen bro? Are you serious? Do you really want that?"
"Yes my frnd. You can write the story now. But can i have some money?"
Sala, Aagaya aukat pe. A serious conversation was going on. And he needs money now.
"How much do you want? Kab chahiye?"
"Before October. I can manage 30,000. But i need 12,000 more.Can you give me? Tujhe wapas kab dunga pata nahi. Thoda sa adjust kar lena."
"Chal mil jayega tujhe." I didn't say no to him. "Abhi book ke bare mein thoda baat kar sakte? I need to know everything before i start writing. I can't write book without knowing everything from you."
"Are yaar, tujhe toh sab pata hai. Thoda sa masala dal dena."
"I don know anything about your childhood. You should tell ... "
"Mere childhood mein kuch hai nahi. Jo man mein aaye likh dena."
"What about the identity? Shall i disclose those names?"
"It's up to you dost. You can write whatever you want. Ek kaam kar, Paisa by September de dena. Mujhe urgent chahiye, samjha?"
"What u'll do with 42,000? Are going for a trip?"
"No, this time it's EOS 500D with 18-55 mm. Chal baad mein phone karte hai. Mujhe machli pakana hai. Mera room mate Ilish leke aaya hai."
And he cut the call then. Now i was thinking about 12,000. I have a tour on September. How can i give him? Anyway i got the permission from him. But i wasn't happy after all.
"Abhi se sala isko paisa chahiya, Kamina .... Motherchod, iske mann mein hamesha khujli hota rahta hai."

Dreamz Unlimited

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Due to high public demand I’m writing my blog again. I don know why people like my blog. It’s full of bullshits out thr. !!!

Well, I was thinking of writing one book, “What not to do at Factory” (Obviously inspired by Chetan Bhagat). And one another, “Thumki”. But I don know whether I can really write that one. I need some support for that. Without her support I can’t start writing … I already wrote some one liner about that book !!!

Basically it’s a real life story of a Brazilian model. Now thr’s a million dollar question. Who is that boy?

Well this “Dreamz Unlimited” is actually that model’s dreams. Tonight he was telling me about his dreamz. I kept silent when I was listening to him. Now what is this innocent dreamz? He calls it innocent coz his dreamz never fulfilled.

I asked him, “Are you mad or what? You are killing yourself. U’ll be finished if you continue like this.”

He replied, “m jus like that … No one can kill me unless I kill myself. And I’m not killing me. I am looking back to my life. I need to wait till end. I have to face this critical ups n downs.”

Well, I took his permission whether I can post his dreamz in my blog. He didn’t reply. But I have seen a grin on his face. He wasn’t my childhood friend. But I know him very well. From 2002 we came closer. But I discovered him completely in 2010 itself. He is just a normal boy. Not so special. He takes everything very lightly. That’s his basic problem. But he is having a strong acceptability among people. He loves people. He believes them.

I don’t know what his problem is actually. One day he woke me up at 3’o clock at night. As usual I was sleeping, ‘m not a nocturnal creature after all. He was crying over phone. He asked me, “Ek graph bana sakta hai?” I was still sleeping, maybe I was in dream. I replied, “What?”

“Kya tu mere liye ek graph bana sakta hai?”

“Abhi? Isi waqt?”

“Kyun? Company mein tu toh bahut graph banata hai. Mere life ka graph bana nahi sakta?”

“Are yaar, tere ko chad gayi hai. Abhi jake so ja. Kal subah bana dunga.”

“Motherchod, 2 glass pine ka baad jo apni bahen ko chod ta hai, who aj mujhe bol raha hai, tere ko chad gayi hai. Bahen ke lund, tujhe pata nahi, main pina chod dia?”

It was very tough for me to face him at that moment. I kept silent again. Couple of minutes passed away. Then suddenly he said, “Sorry! Don take it otherwise. I didn’t mean it.” That’s him. That’s why I like him.

Tonight after listening everything from him, I was only thinking about him. How can a guy tolerate everything? I wanted to give support. But he doesn’t need anyone’s support. He doesn’t want any sympathy from people. “I don need anyone. I can stay alone.” That’s what he always speaks. But he can’t stay alone. I was confused whether I should write about him or his dreamz in my blog. Basically I’m not getting any topic which I can post in my blog. And my readers are eagerly waiting for the next post. I was confused. But finally I realized, I should write something about him. May be I can bring him back in his social life.

I’ve decided to write book on him. I can make money on him. And he doesn’t have any problem if someone is doing business using him. He always wants to help people. It doesn’t matter in which way he is helping others. That’s why I’ve decided to earn some bucks by using him. I just need money. But he is my friend though. Sometimes I feel bad for him. Don know why!

Now what his dream is actually? Well, I’m going to write “THUMKI”, the real life story of that boy. Without his permission I can’t write book on him. Initially he told me to write something about him. Then I published that blog. But now he is not telling anything. I didn’t ask again after that. I know someday he will say, “You can write whatever you want.” But I won’t be happy at that day.

Anyway let come into his dreams. I don’t know why he has put “unlimited”. Those aren’t unlimited. I know what he wants actually in his life. And what he always wanted. Well he wanted a bright academic career, he had already spoiled. A nice social life, he isn’t getting from relatives, friends and colleagues. A charismatic professional life. Still he is searching for after getting humiliated in his work place. Some sort of fame & fortune. And a happy marriage life with his better half. I wish it could happen in his life. I can only pray for him.

Apart from all these dreams, he is having one more dream. Hanging a board on his neck, written “I can almost do anything for my better-half.”

"THUMKI"

Friday, July 09, 2010

One year gap in Academic Career ...

Fight for his own Existence ,,,

Love Triangle !!!

Failure in Love ......

Highly humiliated in professional life

THUMKI -- A Real life story of a Boy, A Brazilian Model ... "Kahani Puri Filmi Hai" 

Coming soon !!!

Love with your head not heart

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Are yaar, ye toh hadh ho gaya. ultimate chutia panthi. Last college mein kiya tha. Aisa bewara zindegi mein nahi tha ... Haan, college mein thoda bahut toh kiya tha ... Wohi auto mein jana, hero ya deba ke saath. Fir hero ke room mein .... sabhi ek saath masti karna ... Going down to memory lane still i can remember ... Missing those days yaar !!!
Aaj toh mujhe pata chal gaya, zindegi mein sab kuch paheli baar hota hai ... but aaj jo hua kanhi nahi bhulunga. Neway, but someone told me, " U love with ur head, not with ur heart" ... I don believe in God ... But I'll break his head ... Woh chutiya ko pata nahi, pyar kya hota hai !!! Bhagwan us din mera saath dena ...

"I wish I could .... "

Friday, April 23, 2010

I wish, i could drink now ... no more ROMANOV this time... just some beer cans in Olypub so that i can hear "Mr. Oly" again ... Otherwise "Brazilian Model" ... but i've doubt whether those models can drink, I want to have some chilled beer. 'm drowning ,,, don save me, let me die.... but i can't drink my frndz. It's all about commitment.
But at this situation of my life, i'm confused again. Don know why i'm writing this crap. Wanna hear something ,, but i can only remember, "We call it love ,,, They call it living in sin" .... 


Well, 'm in balcony again. This time i don have beer cans with me. Counting the stars rather counting my days. The only one 'm missing most is my chumchum. I've lost everything. I don have words to express, i don have feelings to show that how much i love her .... I've lost somewhere,, 'm drowning again my frnd ,,, She had one small request. But i've refused. 'm selfish. 'm damn selfish. sorry dear. I wish that could happen in my life ... 


** Om, this time 'm not drunk ... i don need to drink always. I need my Life back.


(I wish i could sing thumka lagati tu with my chumchum always. There r lots of "I wish I could .... " between us ... That's why it has been titled)

Twitter vs Blog

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Don know exactly when this Twitter & Blog became a part of my life … I have some bad habits earlier to scribble anywhere. At my childhood days, my diary was my friend. I have shared everything with my diary then. Now we are grown up. But sometimes I think, whether we’r properly grown up. Do we really know what we need in our life most?
Anyway this post is about Twitter & Blogger. You can pen down everything in your diary. Then why Twitter & Blogger? Coz you want to make it public. But u won’t make it public fully. U’ll either hide something or u’ll scribble as a third person. And ur follower’ll get confused. That’s what u want na? Basically u’ll write it for particular one person. U want their attraction, basically u want lot of comments in ur Twitt & Blog. My friends, this is our inborn characteristics. U always want to get praised by someone. That’s why Twitter & Blogger are making money frndz. It’s all about our sentiment … Use our sentiments if u want to make money … Anyway I’m going away from the topic … ‘m forgetting about Twitter & Blogger …

Well, Blog came first. We used to write blog from our classroom itself. Then after a couple of years Twitter came into limelight. Initially we have published almost everything in blog. But when twitter came into focus, then we got to know what is blog actually … There are some limitations in twitter. Limitations in words, then u can’t post snaps or videos. Still it’s popular. we want to get other’s updates within a short time. We don have any time to read blog. Just 1 line status update of others is enough for us. And u always want to get info of others. That’s what we are. Twitter is playing that role very well. U can directly get updates of celebrities. Still blogger is much better, more enjoyable. U can show ur passion on blog. U can scribble almost everything in blog. U need some mental preparation before publish a blog. U take lot of times for writing a blog (sometimes after getting drunk, andar ke khuzli bahar nikal aata hai). U can tweet almost anytime. It doesn’t require any mental preparation. When u want to share something, u r doing that. U don think about that much. Now just imagine, after boozing u r sitting in balcony with your laptop. U’ve one more beer can in ur hand. One sip of beer, and then couple of lines in blog … again u’ll have one more chilled can when u’ll review the crap which u’ve just published. Amazing huh ???

Twitter is just like a smooch (As u kiss ur girlfriend suddenly). But blog is just like – Confession of everything lying under her arm. When u’ll get her full attention. U can love her for a long time, u can share everything with ur better half. Blog can give u that pleasure ….  But it’s not only pleasure … U’ll get both pain and pleasure when u’ll publish the blog.

!!! Gimme a fine morning !!!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

One fine morning, a guy have seen one girl in orkut. The boy liked her name. Then they scribbled some bullshits on orkut. And it continues for couple of months. And it badly affected that boy. He used to open orkut in almost everywhere like bus, bar n even in toilet. He had a little passion abt photography. After taking each snap, he was worried whether that girl would like it. And on the very next day, he used to upload that snap.

One day he was working in haldia factory. Suddenly rain begins … and that boy came outside just to drench coz she liked monsoon very much. He was a stupid guy. A dumbo. He always roamed around her house. He wanted to talk to her. He was desperately waiting for a meet. But u knw dear, he had a fear .. fear of losing her.

In-between, he was desperately searching her during mahismardini puja.

That boy won’t forget the day when he has seen her for the first time. He was passing that girl. And he was looking on her eyes. He won’t forget that moment. Both were staring. But the guy didn’t wait coz he was with some friends. He had a fear. Basically he was confused. He wanted to stop. He wasn’t in his senses. He was happy. But when he turned back it was too late then.

On the very next morning he has seen her again. She was talking with someone over phone. He stopped for a while, and went away. Then at the night he has seen her again. She was dancing, singing & she was happy. At that night he didn’t sleep.  He had started thinking about future.

But he had one problem u knw. He had a competitor. But initially he ignored that fellow. When he heard that she have a boyfriend from his beloved one he couldn’t control himself. He went to Milan cabin dhaba along with his best friend; consumed couple of bottles of beer and asked her to come at mahismardini ghat.

He was over confident, he had given one generalized version about that boy. But it was too late. He expressed his feelings about her through that statement. But that girl didn’t understand. Or maybe it was late. He had lot of problems in his life. He was trying to switch over some other companies then. He was frustrated at that time. That girl did a lot for him. He won’t forget those days. (Specially Mr. Oly). He was fighting with his own existence then; and that time she came into his life. He got a way out from dark. He started loving her. But he always had some fear.. he was suffering from lot of inferiority complex. He had a fear … fear of losing her.

In the mean time he got a new step to his career. He was happy. And he was over confident. He always thought that the girl is his property and some fine morning he can convince her. The day continues … he went away for his new life … now the twist comes .. before going for BAWALI he had a lot of sweet moments with her .. The time he was roaming around her home, he always used to sing a song , “So close no matter how far , couldn’t be much more from the heart … Nothing else matter” … he was mad, stupid and dumbo …

Now he entered into a new life. On the second day he had a network problem on his phone. Internet wasn’t working properly. He wanted to share his new experience with her. But that time luck was playing with him. On the 5^th day he lost his phone. And then the new work place. He was the only one in his department. He had to implement everything there. He became busy. He didn’t get time to browse net. But he didn’t forget that girl. Almost every day he was thinking about her. He was thinking that he loves someone there in his hometown. One day she came into his dream. From the very next morning he started sending mails from his official id. (It requires a special permission for sending mails outside from his official id. On the 1^st day itself he was able to convince his boss about sending mails outside. Coz she was always in his heart. And he had a plan for sending mail to her from day 1).

Suddenly he got her no. and then after 7 days he told her that he is having her no. and started talking over phone. He had some communication problem with his friends. That’s why he didn’t get the exact info about her new bf. Anyway he started talking with her over phone. The day he planned about proposing her, he got a shock. He always told her; “Someday’ll come when u’ll be far far away from your home” … Basically he had a dream. He wanted to live happily with her.

This time was the most happiest in his life. He started guiding her from his heart. She was always in his heart. One day his previous colleague (Buddha colleague) asked him about that girl, (basically he forwarded lot of mails to her n his colleague was also in that list). And the boy replied him, “Sir. U can call her my would be”. And one day he quit from drinking.

Anyway after getting that shock, he started boozing again. He went back. But that sweet, ziddi n badmash girl was always in his heart. He waited for the destiny to play the role. But he was confident too. May be over confident … he was waiting for a fine morning. But that morning didn't come in his life …

Confession of a bloody fucking asshole

Sunday, April 11, 2010

He has consumed already 5 pegs of absolute ROMANOV Vodka. And he is is singing, "Bhorere batase joto snightota ache, bandhok rekhechilam premer kache .... ki kore bhuli rajkonney ke .... kano korle erokom erokom ...." Just before... couple of minutes Omkumar was with him ... Now he needs some cigarette ... he doesn't know the the spelling of the cigarette ... he is desperately finding the actual spelling of cigarette .... now he'll go outside to buy some cigarette.... he's fully out now .... fully out for the second time .... fully out of control .... & now this time soumika is not with him .... when he needs some bloody guides .... he needs some bloody fucking wife ,,, who can completely take care of him ... sorry guys i'll be coming within couple of minutes ... i'll need some couple of cigarettes ... i'll come within  5 minutes ... wait for me dear  ....  it'll take only5 minutes ... .wait for 5 minutes ... i would like to have some cigarette ..... wait for me ..... i'll tale everything about him ... that fucking asshole .... i'm going to have some cigarette .... wait for me .............. he is going to buy some cigarette ...

It's Twitter this time

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

This is going to become the shortest one in my blog ... Before i go to sleep, just a big thanks to Twitter.. i've almost forgotten her.. Don knw how is she now, i don have her nos., mail ids ..... & not even in orkut ... 

But she is in Twitter ... it's nice to see her thr.. i can sleep now .....

Sambit ... 2.58 a.m, Rewari.