She looked beautiful from back too ….

Monday, November 07, 2011



I saw her first at Jaisalmer govt. bus stand. Waiting hopelessly as there were no certain bus to Jodhpur just after Diwali morning. We also reached there as we had to travel Jodhpur as per our planned schedule… But instead of gathering info on bus timing I was constantly watching her. She was talking over phone. I watched her carefully. Bit childish and confused!!!
 
The person at the inquiry counter told me, “11 baje bus to hai … abhi tak kuch khabar nahi. Par aayegi jaroor”. It was 11.25 am then. For couple of minutes I again looked upon her. Finally she stared at me with her confusing eyes. This time there were lots of questions on her mind. But she failed to ask anything and continued her chatting over phone. 

Again I turned toward the counter. This time little bit louder, “Kaka, Waise kitna baje bus aa sakti hai?”
Without any hesitation that old man replied, “2 baje toh jaroor aa jayegi”
.
.

There were couples of old men sitting over there who were giving us lot of wise information. Like we can catch train at 6 pm. I ignored them and put my bag & tripod near that girl. Again gave a nasty look. She wanted to tell something. Again I ignored, found out one firingi who was also waiting for a bus. I started talking with him.
Now one army man (he was from Bihar & going to bhuj, later he told me) was there in the counter. And that old chap just repeated the same. The army man was in hurry. I talked with him & he gave me the proposal of hiring one cab to Jodhpur. Now we were searching for other passengers who can also join with us.
Then I turned to her & asked, “Are you going to Jodhpur?”
She replied, “Yeah. I need to catch train from Jodhpur. But I don’t know whether I’ll get any bus.”
We are going to hire one cab. Are you joining with us, I asked.
“How much I need to pay then?” A pretty obvious question. Now she was more confused. I was enjoying that. She was really beautiful. She was busy handling her hair though she failed to handle it. For fraction of sec. I was lost somewhere looking on her eyes.
“How much time it’ll take?” She asked again. This time I got my senses back. Even I also didn’t know about cab fare.
Those old men helped us, it was roughly 300 km. Then I replied, “700 bucks max. As we are 5 people (me with my colleague, firing, army man & the girl) traveling”. 
That army man along with my colleague went for hiring the cab.
.
.
.

Then we had some conversation between us. Now I couldn’t remember actually on which topic we were talking. I was just watching her. Anyway, after 15 min they came back with one car. I offered her the front sit. She sat beside the driver. Our journey began towards Jodhpur.

The driver told us he’ll hardly take 4 hrs. I was sitting behind her. This time I understood she isn’t feeling easy with us. She was hesitating for a conversation as we 3 (firing cancelled her journey on the last moment) were sitting behind. She became confused again. Sometimes she was looking through the mirror, sometimes through the window, sometimes sitting idle looking at the front.

We were going Jodhpur from Jaisalmer. The highway was in the desert circuit. You can’t pass your time by watching people around. After couple of minutes my colleague & army man slept. Even I was also feeling bore. No music system was there in the car.

I started taking snaps with my DSLR. There were beautiful landscapes of dunes. She was also taking snaps with her point shot. Suddenly I discovered her beauty from back. She was enjoying breezes passing through her hair. She wasn’t even trying to care anything. She became more childish.
I tried to capture her every movements and all those shadows & lights coming through her hair. I’ve never ever seen this kind of beauty in my life …
“Are you taking my picture?” She asked me. She might have seen me busy taking snaps on front mirror.
“Yup, have a look on these snaps”. I told and gave my camera on her hand.
She leaned over my camera for couple of minutes, then turned back with her drowse eyes, gave my DSLR back & replied with a very low voice, “Thanks”

… SHE REALLY LOOKED BEAUTIFUL FROM BACKSIDE

The naked truth of Life !!!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010


Life!!! What is it actually? It’s a simple four letter word. But is there anyone who has faced it? Did anyone understand the meaning of life, I should say, “The naked truth of life”.
For the couple of days I was searching the naked truth about life. I didn’t have any ideas. Just before couple of hours I was roaming around in the garden. Suddenly I remembered about one boy whom I have seen one week before. Tonight ‘m gonna tell his story. I don’t know the end of the story. But I can guess what’s going to happen in his life. That’s what we call it “LIFE”
I have seen him on 1st October’ 2010 working at vendor end. I forgot his name. Let give him a name, “RUPAK”.
At that day I had to visit some vendors for some work. I had to calculate the actual burning wire consumption per battery. I was randomly collecting those data. Suddenly I found out one boy doing welding in one boxing table. He was in his teen. I went to him. He was working with more than 100% work efficiency. I was watching him only. After collecting some data I started talking with him. And I was shocked. Now I’m telling his story.
Rupak is the best worker of that vendor. He can produce almost 400 batteries in 8 hrs. He is having excellent working speed with accuracy. He is working daily for 16 hrs. Only for 10,000 bucks per month. Rupak is 18 yr old only. He is having one elder brother and one sister. They don’t have any farm-land. His father is working on some other’s farm. Rupak left his studies and working for 16 hrs daily in Haryana so that their family can eat something. Rupak’s sister is studying in 8th standard and his elder brother is doing his B.Arts (2nd year). Rupak is the only earning member of his family. That kid is working for his family by poisoning himself on daily basis. He proudly told me, “Sir, last month daily 8 hrs. Overtime kiya tha. 11,000 mila tha. Aur 10,000 pura ghar bhej diya”.  I have seen a grin on his face at that time. I wish he could smile always.
Rupak doesn’t know what work he is doing actually. He is consuming lead on daily basis. I scolded him for not using nose-mask during welding. I told him to have milk and bananas daily. It’ll help to reduce lead amount in his blood. But I was feeling bad for him.
He doesn’t know what’ll happen in future. He can’t work longer. He won’t get any success. Today he is doing overtime for his elder brother. And that bugger would surely get success in his life. But would he remember his lil brother at that time? I have doubt. He won’t remember Rupak at that time. I wish I’m wrong.
            This is the naked truth of life….  Don’t do anything for your beloved one, they would forget you”

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Walking down to my memory lane, I was trying to recall some of my best moments I’ve ever had in my life. There are lots of sweet moments with my frndz, couple of worst nightmares and some wishes … But there are some moments which I already have spent with you. We were always roaming places together --- Citimart, Bhojohori Manna, Thonthonia kalibari, Ahiritola Launch ghat, Olypub, Rangmahal, Capri, Siddheswari temple, Spicy Pangash Mach etc. Last but not the least the first day meet and your dance on the following day, shopping together for my family. And of course our birthday celebration. I can’t walk a single step without you. I was just thinking about my sweet/worst moments. My eyes were closed. I was trying to figure out something. But it was you, always in my heart. How can I forget the evening when we were returning to your hostel sitting together in a hand pulled rickshaw? Or when we were returning home together in the train (We were assuming that we were returning home after a long days after our marriage).












The best moments I’ve ever had in my life, is with you. And I can’t help myself to note down some of my best & worst moments I’ve ever had with you.






















Best moment I’ve ever had with you: When you were entering into the launch by holding my hand along with your dad.










Worst Nightmare: When you were going to commit suicide / Whenever you cry.










I Wish … Our daughter would drive one black Mercedes and we would recall our sweet memories sitting at the back.






















And I don’t need Shyambazar 5 point crossing to say, “I Love You” by sitting on my knees !!! I can easily close my eyes and by thinking of you I can proudly say, “I Love You, SONAI”

Just had the last puff

Wednesday, August 18, 2010


            “I was enjoying the last puff of the cigarette standing out at my balcony dear !!! The Last puff of cigarette & The first kiss of Girlfriend are always enjoyable. I’ve heard this one from one of my classmate in college. I was thinking about that.  I was laughing, neither first kiss nor the last puff are enjoyable at all. Still I remember my first kiss...”
            It was 8th September when I decided to quit smoking. After that I didn't smoke a single cigarette. And today it's 18th. Just before half an hour, (It was 1.30 am then. The usual time when u call me) I have decided to make a cigarette. Actually You were sleeping with your boy friend then  And I was waiting for u lying lonely on my bed. I couldn't take it anymore dear. This gonna be another sleepless night for me. So I decided to have a cigarette. I didn’t have any cigarettes. But there were some burnt cigarettes in my ash-tray. Those last parts of cigarettes contain some tobaccos. And I made one with those tobaccos. I used to make cigarette in this way at hostel in case of emergencies.

            Last night I asked you, "How to improve my communication skills?”.... And you were laughing. Everybody laughed at me since my childhood. 

            Oh! I forgot to disclose my identity. This time I (The Brazilian model - as described by Sambit, Owner of the blog) am writing the blog. He has given his login Id to me only for tonight.

            I thought I won't call u, not even a single SMS though I’ve sent one good night SMS. Check it out at tomorrow morning. I think you are snoring now. You know what, I still remember the day when u were crying because of that pervert baba….. I am not blackmailing you dear.

            Basically this is the place where I can write everything. Earlier I used to write diaries, make paintings etc. But I’ve lost everything after taking admission in the engineering college. I don't know what I miss most in my life now. But the one I miss always is you, SOUMIKA. I can't express anything. That's my problem dear…

            I am thirsty now. I wish I could drink one chilled beer can. (OM, don laugh. I know tomorrow morning u'll ask sambit about the blog and he would smile as usual without saying anything). I'm going to shift at Bhiwadi. I'll share everything with u if time persists. You want a book, Na? Okk, I'll tell Sambit to publish "THUMKI" as early as possible. Wait, let me drink some water now. Don't laugh my dear friend. I don't drink now.

            I really don’t know what I’m doing. I can recall each and everything now. I can remember those days when I used to drink in Olypub almost daily. I want to get back in to my life. I forgot to smile. I forgot to cry. I forgot to work in my workplace. I forgot to have a social life. I forgot everything. I forgot all the social responsibilities. What I want actually? Did I really ever think about it? Did I really want anything from someone? 

            I think after publishing this blog I’ll lose her. She thinks I’m blackmailing her. But I failed to say her, "I'll be happy with you only, sonai !!!"

            I've chosen a different path for my entire life. I know, in this path I’ll kill Sambit (Inner consciousness of a spotless mind). But I need to proof myself, "How worth I am". It doesn't matter whether I’ll become speechless then. I need to proof this one to Sambit. 

            Somdeep was a very nice guy. He was innocent. But Sambit killed him a long back. Now this is the time to kill Sambit. This is the time to show everybody, “How worth The Brazilian Model is”.



** Now I understood that u can really make your luck. U don't need to depend on your luck. It's u who will  play around with your luck.


---- New readers, please read previous blogs first. Sambit is publishing my real life story. Read previous blogs to understand everything.

R Parchina

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Parchina ami r parchina emon kore
nistobdho hoye thakte, tabu tomaye
kemon kore disturb kori?
hoito tumi ekhon swapno dekhcho
tomar natun boyfriend-ke niye
ba hoito bascho bhalo taake
nijeer kore...kemon kore
ami sudhu nijer jonyo
tomaye kosto diyi?
kintu parchi na
biswas koro
parchina
emon
kore
banchte...

Kaustav is lucky !!!

Saturday, July 31, 2010


It’s 2.00 a.m. He didn’t sleep yet. I’ve asked him, “Why u r not sleeping?” He replied, “I’m dying without her. I can’t live without her. Today she called me and talked only for one and half minutes.”
He started crying then. He was telling, “Kaustav is lucky. He can share each and everything with her. At least she is guiding him. I can’t … I don’t have anyone to share everything. I’m getting mad. I’m not responsible. I didn’t force her for staying with me. She doesn’t love me.”
He was crying like a child. Just like, he had lost his favourite toy. But he has lost his soul mate.
He stared talking again, “I’m waiting for her call in every night. I’ve started doing work in factory now. But all the time I’m only thinking of her. I’ve lost again. I’m always thinking about her. But she has hanging herself into someone else’s words.”
I wanted to say something. I told, “Don’t spoil yourself bro. U’ll get better one. She can’t understand you. Forget her. Come back to your life.”
“I don’t need better one. I just need her. She needs some guidance yaar. Otherwise she’ll be lost someday. This world is so wild. She can’t take it for longer. And stop thinking about me. Pray for her only … “

            That was today’s conversation with Sam. I don’t know kaustav. And I don’t know why he is lucky. I can’t resist myself posting this one. Sorry dost !!!

He'll make the Cover Page !!!

Sunday, July 25, 2010

I was watching a Hindi movie, "Mr. Singh Mrs. Mehta"... It was a Sunday afternoon. I was totally relaxing. I was roaming around in my balcony after watching the movie. Suddenly i heard my phone's ringing. I was wondering who is it? I came into my room.
"Brazilian Model calling ........ "
I told myself, "Bahenchod, Sunday evening kharap karega .... Sala Chutia."
I picked it up. Before saying anything, he told me "Tera mann mein jo aaye, likh sakta hai mere bare mein. Par Cover Page main design karunga"
I was shocked. I didn't expect this one from him. I kept silent for a while. Then after a few minutes i started talking with him.
"What happen bro? Are you serious? Do you really want that?"
"Yes my frnd. You can write the story now. But can i have some money?"
Sala, Aagaya aukat pe. A serious conversation was going on. And he needs money now.
"How much do you want? Kab chahiye?"
"Before October. I can manage 30,000. But i need 12,000 more.Can you give me? Tujhe wapas kab dunga pata nahi. Thoda sa adjust kar lena."
"Chal mil jayega tujhe." I didn't say no to him. "Abhi book ke bare mein thoda baat kar sakte? I need to know everything before i start writing. I can't write book without knowing everything from you."
"Are yaar, tujhe toh sab pata hai. Thoda sa masala dal dena."
"I don know anything about your childhood. You should tell ... "
"Mere childhood mein kuch hai nahi. Jo man mein aaye likh dena."
"What about the identity? Shall i disclose those names?"
"It's up to you dost. You can write whatever you want. Ek kaam kar, Paisa by September de dena. Mujhe urgent chahiye, samjha?"
"What u'll do with 42,000? Are going for a trip?"
"No, this time it's EOS 500D with 18-55 mm. Chal baad mein phone karte hai. Mujhe machli pakana hai. Mera room mate Ilish leke aaya hai."
And he cut the call then. Now i was thinking about 12,000. I have a tour on September. How can i give him? Anyway i got the permission from him. But i wasn't happy after all.
"Abhi se sala isko paisa chahiya, Kamina .... Motherchod, iske mann mein hamesha khujli hota rahta hai."

Dreamz Unlimited

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Due to high public demand I’m writing my blog again. I don know why people like my blog. It’s full of bullshits out thr. !!!


Well, I was thinking of writing one book, “What not to do at Factory” (Obviously inspired by Chetan Bhagat). And one another, “Thumki”. But I don know whether I can really write that one. I need some support for that. Without her support I can’t start writing … I already wrote some one liner about that book !!!

Basically it’s a real life story of a Brazilian model. Now thr’s a million dollar question. Who is that boy?

Well this “Dreamz Unlimited” is actually that model’s dreams. Tonight he was telling me about his dreamz. I kept silent when I was listening to him. Now what is this innocent dreamz? He calls it innocent coz his dreamz never fulfilled.

I asked him, “Are you mad or what? You are killing yourself. U’ll be finished if you continue like this.”

He replied, “m jus like that … No one can kill me unless I kill myself. And I’m not killing me. I am looking back to my life. I need to wait till end. I have to face this critical ups n downs.”

Well, I took his permission whether I can post his dreamz in my blog. He didn’t reply. But I have seen a grin on his face. He wasn’t my childhood friend. But I know him very well. From 2002 we came closer. But I discovered him completely in 2010 itself. He is just a normal boy. Not so special. He takes everything very lightly. That’s his basic problem. But he is having a strong acceptability among people. He loves people. He believes them.

I don’t know what his problem is actually. One day he woke me up at 3’o clock at night. As usual I was sleeping, ‘m not a nocturnal creature after all. He was crying over phone. He asked me, “Ek graph bana sakta hai?” I was still sleeping, maybe I was in dream. I replied, “What?”

“Kya tu mere liye ek graph bana sakta hai?”

“Abhi? Isi waqt?”

“Kyun? Company mein tu toh bahut graph banata hai. Mere life ka graph bana nahi sakta?”

“Are yaar, tere ko chad gayi hai. Abhi jake so ja. Kal subah bana dunga.”

“Motherchod, 2 glass pine ka baad jo apni bahen ko chod ta hai, who aj mujhe bol raha hai, tere ko chad gayi hai. Bahen ke lund, tujhe pata nahi, main pina chod dia?”

It was very tough for me to face him at that moment. I kept silent again. Couple of minutes passed away. Then suddenly he said, “Sorry! Don take it otherwise. I didn’t mean it.” That’s him. That’s why I like him.

Tonight after listening everything from him, I was only thinking about him. How can a guy tolerate everything? I wanted to give support. But he doesn’t need anyone’s support. He doesn’t want any sympathy from people. “I don need anyone. I can stay alone.” That’s what he always speaks. But he can’t stay alone. I was confused whether I should write about him or his dreamz in my blog. Basically I’m not getting any topic which I can post in my blog. And my readers are eagerly waiting for the next post. I was confused. But finally I realized, I should write something about him. May be I can bring him back in his social life.

I’ve decided to write book on him. I can make money on him. And he doesn’t have any problem if someone is doing business using him. He always wants to help people. It doesn’t matter in which way he is helping others. That’s why I’ve decided to earn some bucks by using him. I just need money. But he is my friend though. Sometimes I feel bad for him. Don know why!

Now what his dream is actually? Well, I’m going to write “THUMKI”, the real life story of that boy. Without his permission I can’t write book on him. Initially he told me to write something about him. Then I published that blog. But now he is not telling anything. I didn’t ask again after that. I know someday he will say, “You can write whatever you want.” But I won’t be happy at that day.

Anyway let come into his dreams. I don’t know why he has put “unlimited”. Those aren’t unlimited. I know what he wants actually in his life. And what he always wanted. Well he wanted a bright academic career, he had already spoiled. A nice social life, he isn’t getting from relatives, friends and colleagues. A charismatic professional life. Still he is searching for after getting humiliated in his work place. Some sort of fame & fortune. And a happy marriage life with his better half. I wish it could happen in his life. I can only pray for him.

Apart from all these dreams, he is having one more dream. Hanging a board on his neck, written “I can almost do anything for my better-half.”

"THUMKI"

Friday, July 09, 2010

One year gap in Academic Career ...


Fight for his own Existence ,,,

Love Triangle !!!

Failure in Love ......

Highly humiliated in professional life

THUMKI -- A Real life story of a Boy, A Brazilian Model ... "Kahani Puri Filmi Hai" 

Coming soon !!!

Love with your head not heart

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Are yaar, ye toh hadh ho gaya. ultimate chutia panthi. Last college mein kiya tha. Aisa bewara zindegi mein nahi tha ... Haan, college mein thoda bahut toh kiya tha ... Wohi auto mein jana, hero ya deba ke saath. Fir hero ke room mein .... sabhi ek saath masti karna ... Going down to memory lane still i can remember ... Missing those days yaar !!!
Aaj toh mujhe pata chal gaya, zindegi mein sab kuch paheli baar hota hai ... but aaj jo hua kanhi nahi bhulunga. Neway, but someone told me, " U love with ur head, not with ur heart" ... I don believe in God ... But I'll break his head ... Woh chutiya ko pata nahi, pyar kya hota hai !!! Bhagwan us din mera saath dena ...